When Your Own Body Fights Against You

This is really hard for me. It took me several attempts to write this post. I’ve written a sentence, reread it, and deleted it. Written it again in a different way, crossed half of it out and rewritten that part again. And when I finally had it all together I just left it untouched in my draft folder for almost five months. Although I use the writing process to come to terms with personal problems, this one has been a real battle for me. I have a secret that I carry with me now for some years. It is not a nice one nor one you are eager to share with other people. When mentioning it, normally people do not know what to say. Often they are unsure about what it means and how it affects me. The most frequent reaction is: “Oh… I’m sorry. What is it exactly?” Now I think it is time to reveal this secret together:

I have an autoimmune disease. It is an undifferentiated connective tissue disease. In a simpler term: rheumatism.

Diagnosis And Treatment

I was diagnosed with it in summer 2014 after my very first big exam session at university. Although the finding was shocking, it was to some extent a relief. I finally knew where the pain was coming from. I finally was able to name the source. And I finally was able to do something against it. However, more than one year later, I am still trying to figure out with my doctor the right medication as my body did not react very well with the first medication. It is a long…